“It smells the same,” I heard myself saying as I peered into The Lodge that served, and does to this day. I probably sound nuts! I thought to myself but it was too late, I’d outed myself as a weirdo and I might as well just lean into it. I stepped in all the way through the glass door and looked around. So much was the same: they still have posters with each leaders’ name and some photos hung on the wall; they still have snack time at 10:15 a.m.; and, as mentioned before, The Lodge smelled exactly the same.

“It’s so good to be here, it feels like home. I spent seventeen summers here; as a camper, then a L.I.T. and then a leader, and then a director,” my mouth rambled.

“If you’re still here, we have Redwood Roundup in a little bit,” the morning director told me.

My vacation brain took a second to process, but it was indeed Friday.

“Of course, it’s Friday,” I exclaimed, “that’s awesome y’all still do that.”

I thanked her and snuck my way back out, glancing around at this space I spent seventeen years in, some of the most developmental and influential in my life. If you haven’t read my previous posts, put simply, since my son was born I’ve been remembering camp more and more and am letting it influence me as a homeschooler and mama. I’ve been  re-creating camp, from how it made me feel to how it brought me confidence, from adapting activities from camp to bringing the tone and values from my camp experience into our home, learning, and living.

The view of The Lodge from the upper playground

Re-visiting Camp Redwood on our family vacation was one of the best days I’ve had in a while. In June we set off from Georgia to Washington, where we have family. We spent some amazing days on Whidbey Island exploring tides, flying kites, and enjoying epic views around Puget Sound. Then we drove through Oregon and into Northern California to my home county of Humboldt; we spent several days enjoying most of my favorite summer experiences on the north coast, with family and friends, before heading inland to the Trinity Alps to spend the remainder of our trip with my husband’s family.

Flying a kite at Fort Casey, WA

Cousin Time at Trinity Lake, CA

Camp Redwood is a day camp that feels like an overnight camp because of it’s location. Held in a natural field within the redwood forest, in old city recreation buildings, kids have the chance to explore the woods on hikes and hide and seek, do crafts, play on a (brand new!) playground, and enjoy field games, nation ball, and ga ga ball.

We arrived in the morning and parked on the other side of the park from the camp, near the community forest trailhead. We checked out some redwoods and then met our friends on the playground. At first I was disappointed my son couldn’t play on the same playground I’d spent my childhood, teenage, and early adult years. But this playground was so excellent, the mom in my quickly realized how great it was to be able to just let my kid play. I went and looked around The Lodge while he played and the campers were all having snack.

We met up with a friend of mine who I’ve known since I was two years old and who I attended camp with as a kid. She brought her five-year-old daughter to play with my son. We also met up with a friend from high school who was also a leader at Camp Redwood with me the summer after high school. She brought her ten-year-old daughter, and her friend, who served as excellent little-kid wranglers. It was special to share time together with people who know the parts of camp I love alongside me.

We headed out on the main hike, taking to slowly, stopping as the kids’ interest was piqued, there was something to climb, and the forest’s majesty drew our awe. We talked about motherhood, and our childhoods; we remembered and we revisited and we laughed a bunch. Our kids immediately took to each other and had a blast finding banana slugs, climbing stumps, and exploring the forest the three of us know so well. My husband got to take it all in, seeing a side of me he’s really only heard about. I remembered the specifics of the trail with no effort and was able to guide us exactly.

Images from our hike

We finished and headed back to the playground, we’d missed Redwood Roundup, but that’s okay. It really is just for the campers and their community, a way of connecting to each other. 

I was very reflective as I stood on this playground, where I’ve stood on hundreds of times before, looking out at camp, around at the redwoods, and now, back to my son playing with his new friends. I’ve spent so much time remembering this place, and even wishing I could parent here, where I feel comfortable, and homeschool where I have more confidence. But as much as is the same, like the smell and the picture posters, much is also different. 

Enjoying the brand new playground at Redwood Park

It opened a month before we visited!

As I stood there I was taken back to when I initially felt inspired to re-create camp. At that time, I wasn’t feeling any sense of wishing I was back in Arcata, CA; I was just committed to bringing the energy I remember and the confidence I used to have to my mothering and homeschooling. This trip reignited that. God has planted me exactly where I’m meant to be. There is no mistake. This trip removed the longing, but I think I had to do it, to see my son in this space, to heal the ache and re-focus on what re-recreating camp actually means to me.

I created some goals for myself after the visit:

1.  Become as comfortable with the flora and fauna of northwest Georgia as I am with the flora and fauna in northern California. I’ve done some good work toward this by learning to ID snakes, but I need to dig deeper by learning how to forage here, understanding local animals, and asking for more help to learn.

2.  Bring the fun back. After this very challenging wound healing season, I really need to remember the camp counselor in me let her out more.

3.  Stop letting other people’s words steal my confidence. I have roots. Deep roots in the redwoods. But I’ve been brought to this spacious place to do new and wondrous things (I’ve been leaning into Psalm 18:19 a lot lately!), and I need to let my confidence rise from these roots I’m planting in this new place.

4.  Re-commit to adventuring as a family. Between my healing and working to build a local homeschool community I’ve let our adventurous family spirit dim. I’m reigniting it.

5.  Prioritize my values, which are rooted in my experiences (and camp was obviously a big one), as my mothering and homeschooling guideposts. It doesn’t have to make sense to anyone else; it just has to be right for us.

Full of camp energy!

This visit, the whole trip – yes – but especially to camp, was something I could feel in my bones I needed to do. I’m so glad I did. It was magical but it was also so grounding. It was like I could see the connecting dots from my start at five years old as a camper to my purpose today as a homeschool mom, homeschool group leader, homeschool community member, and voice in the movement all come into focus. Seeing my four-year-old son respond to a space I’d been in as a five-year-old is something I’ll hold with me for a long time. Not just because of the enormous redwoods or charisma of the redwood forest, but because I felt charged with the kind of purpose that links generations and knowing the choice I’ve made, to lean into my camp past, is going to resonate through my son and into generations to come. That’s the gift of connecting your child to your past, and your present purpose to your past experience.

I recently saw an Instagram post and the general sentiment was: I tried all these careers trying to find my career and found it all in motherhood. It was exciting because it articulated something I’ve struggled to articulate myself since becoming a mom, and especially since deciding to homeschool. I felt it on this trip, and especially through re-visiting camp and I’d say it like this: My path was always going to lead me here, to motherhood and to homeschooling, and I can see it clearly, all those years I was searching for this role because it beautifully links my history, my experience, my journey, and my heart. 

It’ll be years before my son and I re-visit Camp Redwood again, but when we do, I’ll be so excited to see what’s revealed to me then at a new point in the journey. 

Originally posted 7/15/24