How an unexpected camp activity is helping me be more present in motherhood

When I decided last summer I was going to lean into this idea of recreating camp, it wasn’t just about what lessons, activities, and mindset from camp I could bring into our lives for my son’s benefit; it was also about recreating camp for myself. My son was born in March 2020, just as the pandemic began to become reality – not just something on the news – for us in the U.S. Over the last three years I’ve had challenges including postpartum anxiety, chronic migraines, no support system, and a move to another state. Like so many of us, I disconnected from my reality and numbed myself, mostly with my phone. Hours spent hooked up to a breast pump day and night, I’d sit and scroll. Days debilitated by pinching pain in my temple, I’d lay in bed and stare at it. When I’d be searching for something to make sense as an anxiety attack crept in, I’d reach for Google. Desperate for connection and a sense of belonging, I’d get lost in social media. 

Last spring I looked at my two-year old, no longer a baby, in the midst of meltdown and it was crystal clear to me his emotions were about our lack of connection. My distraction of my phone and lack of attention for him was creating a rift between us I wanted to address. But the phone habit is a hard one to break. Especially as a stay-at-home mom, where the days can start to blend together. I take him outside and encourage him to play with things where he has to do the work. This means sometimes, as he’s playing or working independently, I get bored. No matter how I tried, the phone would find it’s way out of my pocket and into my hand. Then, before I knew it, twenty minutes would go by and I’d realize he was ready for my attention again but I was once again lost in my phone.

As I made a list last summer of all the things from camp I could see incorporating into our lives at some point in both the near and distant future, I remembered lanyards and I instantly knew it could be an aid in my endeavor to be more present with my son.

Lanyards are made from plastic lacing cord, usually affixed to a key ring or metal clasp. The plastic lacing cord is woven together. Here’s the supplies I purchased for reference. At Camp Redwood we had lanyard making supplies available to any camper, any time. Rather than it being an activity a Leader might schedule, it was just something lots of kids, Leaders-In-Training (LITs), and Leaders alike would keep in their pocket or fanny pack and pull out and work on during opening circle, a hike, or during free play time. I’m sure there are some campers, LITs, and Leaders that never made a lanyard. But I wasn’t one of them. I always had a lanyard in my pocket when I was an older camper, LIT, and in my fanny pack when I was a Leader. I wasn’t the best lanyard maker at camp – there were some LITs I remember who could weave 10 strings but I was always best at about three – but it was something I enjoyed having with me and it will forever be a symbol of camp culture to me. I remember walking around the playground during free time, presently engaged with what the kids were doing, but also weaving my lanyard. Or sitting with the kids on the ground while they ate lunch, talking with them, fully present, and weaving. Or riding the bus to field trips, available to the kids but also letting them experience the ride, weaving away. 

Now this will age me, but I worked at camp long before smart phones existed. I think I had a Nokia simple phone in my last year or two working at camp and I did keep it in my fanny pack for emergencies – you know, what we used to exclusively think of cell phones being good for – but it was turned off and it wasn’t good for anything but making calls or sending a brief text. But I’d like to think lanyards would be an effective way to keep campers, LITs, and Leaders off smart devices. Maybe I’m wrong since I’ve been out of the camp game for twenty years but I decided it was worth a shot.

As I picked out the parts of camp I’d incorporate into our daily, weekly, and monthly rhythms for this year I decided to also gift myself lanyards. My son is too young for them. Maybe someday he’ll want to learn to make them. But the impetus for reintroducing them is uniquely for me. 

Six months since I got my supplies and I can say without question the lanyard making is helping me be more present. I keep one in my pocket or purse or fanny pack – in fact I try to have a couple going at once so I can have them in all the places – and when we’re together and he is playing or working independently I pull the lanyard out first. I weave as I wander behind him in the yard. I weave as I sit next to him on the floor of his room. I weave as and watch him run in the field next to our house. It’s much easier to stay present, stay where my feet are, when I’m weaving a lanyard. My senses stay focused and when he needs me I just stop and put it away. My lanyard doesn’t make me feel like I’m missing out or give me anxiety. My lanyard isn’t addictive and doesn’t play mind games. My lanyard is just a fun thing to work on and do with my hands. 

And the cool thing is, it’s helping me be present in other areas of my life. Instead of pulling out my phone after my son goes to bed, I pull out my lanyard which makes me more present and available to my husband. I sent one of my best friends, a friendship forged at camp, some lanyard supplies and we connected over camp memories. I’ve shared lanyards with friends who have no connection to my own camp experience. I bring a lanyard with me to social outings and when others get on their phones, I weave. I stay present. It might sound dramatic to say, but it’s making me like myself better as a mother, wife, and friend. 

I think so often we put all the energy of our parenting into what our kids need but if lanyards – and recreating camp in general – have taught me anything in the last six months it’s that it is just as important to figure out what we need to be our healthiest and happiest. For me, being present is vital to being the best version of myself, the me I want to be with my kid, and everyone else. I’m so grateful for this activity, lanyards and just allowing myself to recreate camp, for the fact it’s given me this new – old – way to be present in my daily life. 

Brene Brown says, “we are born makers. We move what we’re learning from our head to our hearts through our hands.” Making lanyards is giving me something really special, even though it’s just a couple pieces of plastic string. It’s making something fun and tangible and it’s also making me more myself, more present here, more content with what’s right in front of me.

Originally posted 1/20/23